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Raised in New York City, I have always experienced the shape of the metropolis as home: a place that knows little darkness, and where the lights in all of their phantasmic power obscure the stars. Beyond bright lights and twenty-four-hour bodegas, I have become intimately familiar with the metropolis as a place of myriad cultures, languages, and longings—its human density and speed uniting us strangers and, just as quickly, pulling us apart.
Snippets of the world live and lived together on our small and glowing island, bobbing between two murky rivers. For this reason, my childhood in Morningside Heights, a thin strip of upper Manhattan, was just as—if differently—idyllic as those of my friends who grew up in small towns and rural villages. In the 1980s and 1990s, everyone in my neighborhood, from the fishermen on 125th Street risking their lives to eat their catch to the dry cleaner who handed off gossip along with freshly pressed clothes, knew one another’s names. The spirit of our neighborhood was embracing, reflected in its body of wide avenues hugged by two verdant parks, its churches rising from the ground to split the sky. I rode the subway from the 110th and Cathedral Parkway station and frequented its namesake, Cathedral St. John the Divine, close to my home, where saints looked on with wary eyes; there candles burned and choirs sang, pigeons perched on the gaping mouths of gargoyles at rest, closing their wings. Peacocks in the adjacent gardens splayed their majestic tails beside a peace fountain, presided over by Archangel Michael, his own wings open towards the sky. I often watched these peacocks from across the street, sat at the Hungarian Pastry Shop, a neighborhood institution owned by a Greek family, managed by Ethiopian New Yorkers, and filled with Columbia University students fanning their faces with literature as they looked for love. Something about that space on my childhood street—its heavy, refillable coffee mugs, its refusal to install internet or outlets, its vista of cathedral and rainbow bird tails beside whizzing cars—made me know in childhood, as I still know today, that the city could speak to me from deep in its soul.
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