
Rebecca Gayle Howell (ed.)
et al.
Published online:
18 May 2023
Published in print:
07 March 2023
Online ISBN:
9780813197418
Print ISBN:
9780813182438
Contents
Cite
Davis, Geffrey, 'What I Mean When I Say Labor', in Rebecca Gayle Howell, Ashley M. Jones, and Emily J. Jalloul (eds), What Things Cost: an anthology for the people (Lexington, KY , 2023; online edn, Kentucky Scholarship Online, 18 May 2023), https://doi.org/10.5810/kentucky/9780813182438.003.0111, accessed 17 Apr. 2025.
Extract
I.Before god, but after the drugs—though maybeabove all else, because even my endless imageof him holding a crack pipe I inventedthrough the hurt ugliness of his absence—my father’s hands mean work. From the severesafety of a silence I once put between us,my own hired soreness became a warm-blooded doorfor his difficult return. Thumbs struck while roofingslammed open a suffering we could cursetogether across the bitterness. I did plumbing andcarried him home in palm-ache from hoursof wrenching a way for water to joinand leave a family. The summer I paintedhouses, the shadow of my father’s strengthrolled beneath my grip like a crooked smile.By now, any burn in the knuckles ortenderness to my touch from too much time spentpulling something broken but necessaryapart for half-answers feels like nothingother than elegy:—I want another song.
II.We’ve sat down, my mother and I, to do the sorry math—it always comes back a painful miracle: 1990s, mostlysingle, four children, minimum wage, work the warmestsoundtrack played on repeat, and her presence wornthin but nothing like a ghost. There were the nights of hercold crying into each emptiness she could hearroaming the rooms of the house. There washunger and the homeless shelter. And there wasour witnessing a fatigue that framedthe youth and beauty of her facelike a coffin.Ma,what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know howto bless a secure music that,for love, you made from your almostnot being here. I still carry the keyand lock of it. But I also trust my fearover all your body has carried but might notrecover. Time, for instance, and real rest.I want a force other than deathbetween you and retirement. I’m listening for a hymnor horizon that draws more light than needtoward your tomorrow:—more faith and somepaid-off, open place to prop your incredibly tired feetabove your tired and incredible heart.
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