The Details in Schizophrenia

Extract

Let me see if I can accurately convey for you the experience of going mad. As far as I understand, my diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder with a paranoid component. I can only tell you that the presence of paranoia in my disorder has had the greatest impact on my experience and interpretation of the world, coloring most of what I see with a veil of fear and even panic. Terrors have run through my head, and I suspect they’re not done with me yet.

We read the world through our brain first and impose on the world our need for pattern, repetition, and meaning. Just the way we see astrological images in the light of the stars, so we impose patterns on the rest of the world. We try to make sense of these patterns to act for our own benefit and well-being. Who’s to say if the configurations we recognize are legitimate or a full comprehension of reality? At this time, the jury seems to be out and scholars in different fields make arguments, each for their own case. I suspect these patterns are on the spectrum of real, but I also have detailed experience in learning how they can be altered due to ill health and deviant brain activity that can lead to personal devastation and ruin.